Friday, April 18, 2014

Jelly Bean Idol

 I just messaged my friend "I need a jelly bean intervention." Her reply was, "Oh so you've advanced to addict now?" Yeah we have that kind of relationship. (I also told her I'm quoting her and she replied "That can't be good." LOL)

Why I haven't ever known about root beer flavored jelly beans before, I haven't a clue! I mean those are some serious deliciousness right there. Right up there with cinnamon and black licorice.

If you eat them all together they ain't half bad either, just sayin'.

I also don't know why I had to discover Sam's Club. You mean I can buy 50 gallons of jelly beans for cheaper than 5 ounces of them?! Genius! (Of course by doing this you also get some gross flavors like chocolate and coconut. You win some, you lose some.)

Let's just say a picture says a thousand words...

If you're a dentist reading this you're probably itching for me to walk through your door.

Also, there's not many licorice, root beer, or cinnamon ones left. Hence why I'm having to dig... 

Anyway, I obviously have a problem.

About an hour ago I was working out (yeah I know, ironic huh?) and the trainer on the DVD said, "If we aren't examples for our kids, someone else will be." OUCH! Now bring your attention back to my picture... Triple ouch!

Side note, I still haven't showered from working out. Add that to the sick feeling in my stomach and furry-feeling teeth from jelly bean overload and I feel like an Olympic landfill swimmer.

Okay so I'm leading my children by example how exactly? Most of the time I adopt a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do parenting technique. Let's just say this doesn't go well most of the time.

Today's Good Friday. Now if there's ever a day for God to convict/confront/abolish my jelly bean addiction today would be it. I can't help but think of all days to self-indulge, today is definitely the worst.
Disclaimer: I don't want to make anyone feel guilty about how they're spending today. I also don't want to send the message that I think jelly beans are demonic. Let's sum it up this way- the Bible says "“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive." (1 Corinthians 10:23) I don't think God is a legalistic, beat-you-over-the-head-with-a-Bible God who gets mad that you didn't pray at least 50 times today or help 87 old ladies cross the street in a month. He is a God of love, mercy (not getting what you deserve), grace (getting what you don't deserve), forgiveness, and patience. He knows we're going to blow it over and over again.

Boy am I blowing it.

It may seem silly or inconsequential to say that I am royally messing up by having a jelly bean binge. But my 4-year-old sees these jelly beans. She sees that I am binging. She sees that I am limiting her jelly bean intake (though I'm second guessing that decision since she's skinny as a rail) and probably thinking that ain't quite fair, to say the least.

What else does she see?

My lack of asking forgiveness from her after I've yelled? My eyeballs attached to the computer instead of her beautiful face? My lack of daily reading the Bible, though I expect her to sit quietly and listen when we pray together at bedtime? My open frustration and anger at other family members or strangers, though I expect her to calm her tantrums in 1.00025 seconds?

Remember 1 Corinthians 10:23? Look at verse 24- " No one should seek their own good, but the good of others."

My daughter sees all these other "jelly beans." Am I seeking my daughter's good by doing the above mentioned things and overindulging? I think not.

I'm nailing these jelly beans, in all their forms, to the cross. I don't need them anymore. Through Jesus I can live out a better example of Him to my kids. They need me, the best me I can give them, even ifespecially if that best me is to show that I screw up a lot and I can't make it right without Jesus. May I, and whoever else needs to hear this, be reminded that Jesus died on the cross VOLUNTARILY to make a way for our filthy, stinky, jelly bean filled selves to not only live with Him forever, but to be washed of all that gross-ness. Now that is something we definitely do not deserve, but this is what is available to us all through His sacrifice 2000 years ago.

On that note, I'm off to brush my teeth and shower.